We develop a sense of who we are and how valuable we are through the care we received from others early in life. Parents are like a mirror. When we see how they relate to us we take that as a reflection of who we actually are. The problem is that when the mirror is flawed - and all humans are flawed - we develop a flawed view of ourselves. The key is that it is only the view of ourselves that is flawed not who we actually are. Unfortunately, we have a deep tendency to believe that view. It can influence every aspect of our lives.
For the rest of our lives we use a flawed reference point (usually parents) for who we believe we are and how we see ourselves. We think our parents were right. The vast majority of human beings have limited ability to truly see another person as they really are. We are finite. We have troubles. We have unresolved feelings, sensitivities, misunderstandings, and lots of confusion. These problems make relating to others, especially children fraught with traps. Whatever unresolved issues parents have from their own childhood will get projected onto their children. Because of how brains develop, children have little ability to evaluate a parent's confused judgments. The negative things parents do and say become instructions to the psyche. These instructions operate in the background, like a computer operating system. It feels like "This is who I am." Instead, this is what a parent was projecting - putting on the child - rather than who the child and how we are as adults today really are.
Eventually, the pain we feel from those early relationships becomes too much to manage. We develop a coping strategy. If we use that strategy often enough, and most of us use them a good deal, they become a problem. That problem/symptom is usually what brings people into therapy.
The truth is that we are all lovable, capable and worthwhile. We are all valuable and important whether we know it or not. The key is learning to see through the smog of messages we got as children so we can live in our true selves. What we came to believe was something we learned. But, it doesn't add up properly. It's like learning 2 + 2 = 3. Once we recognize our programming is faulty we can learn new ways to view ourselves. We can clear away the beliefs we learned from flawed people and come to recognize our ultimate worth. We can learn to use a more accurate, higher reference for our self esteem, something beyond what our parents gave us.
Of course, this is easier said than done. Simply repeating to yourself over and over, "I'm worthwhile" usually doesn't go very deep. This is because the areas of the brain that need to change - deep areas of the mind - only change under special circumstances. The good news is that neuroscience has shown us that hypnosis has the ability to penetrate those deep areas. When core beliefs are reevaluated in a state of hypnosis, when they are reevaluated in the context of old memories, the new learning is very deep. People actually feel different rather than just telling themselves they are different. Hypnoanalysis is specifically designed to do just that.
Hypnoanalysis uses a process of psychotherapy to identify core beliefs and where those core beliefs got conditioned. Then we go back to the memories and develop an understanding of how the problem began in the first place. We go to the root cause. The core. The beginning of it all. Then, we create a process to recognize the truth. It's like opening an inner eye and suddenly seeing beauty, strength, confidence, peace, wellbeing, and love - already present within.
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Jeanne Clark, MSW, DSW shares insights, clarifies mis-conceptions and provides emerging information on the effective use of Hypnosis in Counseling. Check this space often to continue to grow through continuous healing.